~ Read to the end to see an adorable Wesley reaction because only his opinion matters~
Please keep averting your eyes from my fingers. Thanku
I have to do the difficult task of writing a negative review. This will haunt me at night, the guilt weighing heavy over the mean - BUT TRUTHFUL - things I've said. I hate conflict. Plz don't throw bricks at my window with threats tied to them.
I wanted to love this so badly. I was really rooting for it. It had so much potential. The French name, the chic blue and white striped awning which you can google because I can't seem to locate the photos I definitely took of it (this isn't my day job ok!?😭), the overall charming look and feel. But at £4.80 (FOUR POUNDS AND 80P) I feel a little swindled.
The Rating 2/5 🥐
Price UNACCEPTABLE. (As previously stated it was £4.80)
The Flaky Boy The almond croissant was very stodgy. This was an uber chonky boy. A gobbet (😏) one could say. A gobbet (😏) like no other. It had a cake-like texture. I usually enjoy cake. But cake is not welcome when I am on a very important 👏🏼almond 👏🏼croissant 👏🏼expedition. When I eat a croissant I should be using words like light, fluffy, crunchy, crisp, fucking yum. Ok, not cake.
Disappointingly, I couldn't sense any frangipane in it either. No delicious schmear of that almond cream that is my crack. Ugh, come on.
And what is up with the glowing reviews?
Here is where I introduce you to the word bof. As in, c'était bof. Meaning, it was bleh.
Wesley ain't impressed.
Also FYI I don't think the French actually say this. Best not rely on me for accurate cultural references.